Celebrity Resolutions for 2015 for Kim, Bill, Iggy, Jay-Z, Biebs and more

2015 resolutionsWe all make ‘em, but for 2015 we definitely need a few 2014 headliners to make good on some New Year’s Resolutions in the next 12 months. Here’s some our favorite stars really may want to do in 2015 …

Bill Cosby 2014Bill Cosby – Maybe re-read that “Craft of the Cocktail” book again and stay a little closer to the original recipe?Kim Kardashian bikini 2014

Kim Kardashian – Find something else to break besides the Internet. It’s slow enough without Wi-Fi thank you very much.

Sony Pictures – 1) Before firing employees, make sure they don’t have access to sensitive email files or have really good hacker friends. 2) Ask yourself “Could green-lighting this project seriously damage our company/offend a nutjob world leader?” If the answer is yes, maybe just scrap it. 3) Don’t take that next pitch meeting with Seth Rogen and James Franco.

Every celebrity that got caught in the phone hack scandal – Maybe send your sexy photos the only impregnable way: via the post office. No one bothers to check the regular mail these days.

Hannibal BuressHannibal Buress – Work on a scathing routine that will scuttle Rush Limbaugh’s career as fast as Cosby’s and in this case you’d probably earn a Noble Peace Prize.

 

Disney money Scrooge McDuckWalt Disney Pictures – Figure out where to put all the money that’s going to be rolling in from “The Avengers: Age of Ultron” and “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.”

Lifetime – After “Saved by the Bell” and the “Aaliyah” biopics, maybe sticking more to women battling abusive husbands, evil bosses and otherwise empowering themselves is more your thing?

Nicki-Minaj as Kim-Kardashian-SNLNicki Minaj – Keep your fashion sensibilities from 2014, but maybe shy away from any more songs sampling Sir Mix-a-Lot?

GEORGE-CLOONEY-AND-AMAL-ALAMUDDIN-WEDDING-DRESSGeorge Clooney – Don’t be alarmed by those Post-It Notes on the fridge. They’re called Honey Do’s. Welcome to married life buddy.

Robin Thicke – Come up with a more original title for your next album and do a lot less suing of families of artists you’re ripping off paying homage to on your next hit.

Jay-Z and Beyonce from elevator incidentJay-Z – Maybe take to the stairs a bit more often…

Nick Jonas rippedNick Jonas – Keep letting Kevin and Joe’s phone calls go to voicemail. It’s OK if they’re a bit jealous over your solo career.

 

iggy-azalea-05092014-281x211Iggy Azalea – Pay no attention to the clock ticking 14:49, 14:50, 14:51 and keep on thinking you’ll be the biggest name in pop hip-hop for years to come.

Jed York – Look in the mirror and remind myself why I ran the best coach my 49ers have had in 10 years out of town after three NFC Championship games and a Super Bowl appearance again.

John Travolta – If asked to present at an awards show, make sure to pronounce the artist/actor’s name several times and in front of your friends before trying it on national TV.

Kate UptonKate Upton – Just keep being Kate Upton

Julianne_mooreJulianne Moore – Start getting to work on that Best Actress Oscar acceptance speech for “Still Alice.” Funny and charming speeches that will be remembered for years don’t write themselves, you know?

Stephen Amell and Grant GustinStephen Amell and Grant Gustin – Keep “Arrow” and “Flash” TV shows so kick-tail that DC/Warner Bros. would look stupid for not having your versions of the DC characters in the movie franchise.

Justin Bieber – Pretty much everything you did in 2014? Just do the opposite of all of it.

Orlando Bloom – Feel free to punch out Bieber if he gets out of line again this year.

 

 

 

 

  • keith

    Iggy Azalea – Pay no attention to the clock ticking 14:49, 14:50, 14:51 and keep on thinking you’ll be the biggest name in pop hip-hop for years to come.

    YES!!! she has been out line and help T.I make an a ss out of himself in the process. I hear it ticking.. unless she go the kimmy K route.. dumps swaggy P (ugh) marries a really rich powerful person, and getting even more naked. I just dont even find her attractive.. she just doesnt do it for me.

  • Oh yeah. I’d be stunned if anyone is still talking about her this time in 2015!