The 13th Friday would probably be a lot better if it were just an outright Friday the 13th rip-off.
Your typical horror movie kicks off with a gradual introduction of the future victims. It helps to foster even the slimmest connections and character investment.
Director/Writer Justin Price decides to go a different route. In itself that’s not necessarily a bad thing provided the filmmaker can make a unique setup work. There’s little by way of a cohesive story just random weirdness for the first half-hour. Little of it is convincing enough to prove worth the initial investment.
A group of apparent friends seek unnerved, but willingly are at a cursed house. There’s enough apprehension within the group that it seems like someone should have chosen a better hangout spot. Some of the survivors have a way to avoid the apparent curse, but Allison (Lisa May) is having second thoughts. Along with a slew of nightmarish images. Including random appearances by a creepy girl that looks like a reject from Rings with bad makeup.
The plot is largely incomprehensible and Price doesn’t do the requisite hand holding to make any sense. Deep down there could be an interesting premise, but Price’s curious storytelling setup kills all the excitement. It takes Price until the midway point of the film to start explaining what’s going on, but that’s way too late to try and regain the audience.
Price fails to make the horror moments shock or scare. They’re all too predictable and so by the numbers that it’s not even fun. In almost every scenario, the characters trip or stumble when seeing the creepy girl. Then in other cases, the characters simply act in an unrealistic manner by dismissing this burnt girl steadily coming their way. But, it doesn’t matter since the characters are so poorly defined their deaths and lack any sense of logic to be relatable.
Even for VOD standards the acting is rough. The script isn’t helpful at all, but the cast acts like they’re making the dialogue up on the fly. There’s a lot of careful deliberation during most conversations.
Price stuck to one horror movie trope and kept all the female cast members in tight tops. But that’s the extent of redeeming qualities for the film.
Maybe The 13 Friday’s ultimate legacy is to be mercilessly mocked as a Rifftrax or as the feature for a bad movie night. The scares are non-existent, but the potential for laughs might make it mildly entertaining.
Rating: 1 out of 10
Photo Credit: Uncork’d Entertainment