We all make ‘em, but for 2015 we definitely need a few 2014 headliners to make good on some New Year’s Resolutions in the next 12 months. Here’s some our favorite stars really may want to do in 2015 …
Kim Kardashian – Find something else to break besides the Internet. It’s slow enough without Wi-Fi thank you very much.
Sony Pictures – 1) Before firing employees, make sure they don’t have access to sensitive email files or have really good hacker friends. 2) Ask yourself “Could green-lighting this project seriously damage our company/offend a nutjob world leader?” If the answer is yes, maybe just scrap it. 3) Don’t take that next pitch meeting with Seth Rogen and James Franco.
Every celebrity that got caught in the phone hack scandal – Maybe send your sexy photos the only impregnable way: via the post office. No one bothers to check the regular mail these days.
Lifetime – After “Saved by the Bell” and the “Aaliyah” biopics, maybe sticking more to women battling abusive husbands, evil bosses and otherwise empowering themselves is more your thing?
Robin Thicke – Come up with a more original title for your next album and do a lot less suing of families of artists you’re ripping off paying homage to on your next hit.
Jed York – Look in the mirror and remind myself why I ran the best coach my 49ers have had in 10 years out of town after three NFC Championship games and a Super Bowl appearance again.
John Travolta – If asked to present at an awards show, make sure to pronounce the artist/actor’s name several times and in front of your friends before trying it on national TV.
Justin Bieber – Pretty much everything you did in 2014? Just do the opposite of all of it.
Orlando Bloom – Feel free to punch out Bieber if he gets out of line again this year.