WWE The Hell in a Cell 2016 preview and predictions
by Scott Saffran
The Hell in a Cell is one of the most exciting, terrifying matches in the history of professional wrestling. There has been a myriad of wars waged in the structure that have etched themselves in history, never to be forgotten. The Cell is the end of a feud, the place you take your opponent when there is no choice other than to be locked inside a giant cage to settle the score, once and for all. So we’ll have a specified date every year where several feuds go into the Cell, whether there’s need to or not? Sweet. Sounds like a plan.
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2016’s version of this debacle has laid itself out to be a rather promising slate of matches, including the first-ever women’s Cell match. This event has definitely been overshadowed by the spat of programming dedicated to hyping Brock vs. Goldberg, but I still stand quite excited for the evening of October 30th. Shoulda renamed this Halloween Havoc.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
It is painfully apparent that this feud is meant solely to give Bayley something to do before she gets a chance at the title. There’s nothing wrong with this, as I much prefer it to her playing second-fiddle or just hanging around until her time comes. Dana plays a solid powerhouse and Bayley is incredibly talented, no news here. Though I haven’t got a whole lot of excitement going into this contest (arm-wrestling contest aside), I probably will enjoy the match.
As for a winner, it all depends how long the WWE wants to push this feud. If this is a one-off, Bayley will undoubtedly take the victory. If the ‘E wants to push this a little longer and wait until Charlotte/Bayley plays out past this Cell match (if it in fact does), I think Dana might pick up the pinfall.
PICK: Bayley via pinfall
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Rusev
for the WWE United States Championship
The WWE has spent quite a bit of airtime pushing this feud. Now, I know that’s been quite obvious if you’ve tuned in to any of the RAW’s in the past month. I just wanted to say it out loud. The United States Championship, being held by someone other than John Cena, has been a focal point of WWE television programming. While this is mostly likely due to the eternal struggle to get Roman Reigns over, I blame Rusev.
I have no qualms in saying the Bulgarian Brute is the one of the three most entertaining figures and the singular best character in the WWE. Every promo he gives on RAW, every tweet he sends out into cyberspace is a product of impressive dedication to his persona and to furthering himself within the WWE. Reigns has played himself well, though he is clearly still muzzled by the babyface intentions of Creative. I pray, as I do every PPV, that this will be the moment that Roman embraces the devil-may-care badass he is so desperately meant to be. Whether he is allowed to or not, I feel this match will still be both the most brutal on the card and the highlight of the entire show.
PICK: Roman Reigns via pinfall
TJ Perkins (c) vs. Brian Kendrick
for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Minus whatever convoluted garbage fire purported to be a backstage segment on this past RAW, the feud between TJP and Kendrick has been the most well-built and believable stories leading up to Sunday’s show. Both men have clear-cut characters with understandable motivations, and it feels as though something real is at stake when they clash. As with the WWE, anything is possible, however I feel the natural progression is to have TJ retain and move on to another feud. Kendrick can linger in the background, waiting to strike again. The pair have exceptional chemistry both in and out of the ring, and I hate to see this completely cut short, or dragged on past its expiration date. All in all, the Cruiserweight division is continuing on its hot streak and I’m certain we will be saying the same post-HIAC.
PICK: TJ Perkins via submission
The New Day (c) vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
For some reason we got the chance to see this on TV for free on Monday night. It was a good match, granted, but now I have absolutely zero interest in this pay-per-view contest. Of course, the New Day will win this match (that’s a 100% guarantee), which takes significant wind out of the sails as it is. Now, with a free match a week before the show, I genuinely do not know how anyone can have any interest or excitement for the matchup. With such an impressive slate of wrestlers in the contest, it’s a bit of a shame that we’ve reached this point. But, hey, when it’s so apparent what the end goal is, you just have to put your head down and trudge on until you cross the finish line.
PICK: The New Day via pinfall
Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs.
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
After missing Clash of Champions and good few weeks on TV, Enzo and Cass are back in a big way. Though I still cannot get myself fully behind the duo, there is no denying their unparalleled chemistry and mic skills (of course, Enzo gets the credit there). Both men continue to get themselves over in city after city, making the absolute best out of each moment they are given on television. It’s truly impressive and a huge boon to the tag scene as a whole. On the flip side of that, we have the Club. Week after week, the Club shows up on RAW spittin’ and swearin’ and making a big show of it. Then they lose in under two minutes. Despite their impressive size and intimidating look, they could be the least formidable pair across all of the WWE. It’s quite clear which commodity is hottest and I don’t think I can picture any scenario where the Club leaves TD Garden with the victory.
PICK: Enzo and Cass via pinfall
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Charlotte Flair
for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Earlier this year there was a movie that came out in theaters called Batman v. Superman. You may have heard of it; you may have not. I had been anticipating the movie’s release a near-three years before it graced the cinema; I was told it would be an earth-shattering, ground-breaking spectacle for the ages. I adored both characters, I was thrilled to see them duke it out on a grand stage with a bevy of buildup.
I worry Sasha vs. Charlotte in the Cell is the BvS of the WWE. I trust in both of their abilities, I feel confident that the pair can rise to the occasion and excel. Still, there lingers that worry. Buried in the back of my brain, wedged carefully between two lobes is the fear that this match will be a crushing disappointment. I eagerly await this duel on Sunday night, but I do so with an air of caution. Prove me wrong, Sasha and Charlotte. I would love nothing more.
PICK: Sasha Banks via submission
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Seth Rollins
for the WWE Universal Championship
Two of my absolute favorite wrestlers, and yet I don’t quite know how I feel about this contest. The past few weeks of RAW have featured Owens and Jericho as the obvious stars, and while Mr. Rollins has been right there with them in most instances, it feels as though he’s only background dancing for the two lead singers. This, of course, only leads me to believe Jericho will be involving himself once the cage door comes off the hinges.
With rumors that Jericho may be ending his current run in the coming months, it takes no suspension of belief to picture the Ayatollah of Rock ‘n’ Rolla capping off 2016 as part of a direct feud with Kevin Owens. As nice as this may be, it leaves the current story considerably less focused on the present circumstances. I want to be excited for this Hell in a Cell match, but I feel my passions are focused somewhere in the near future. Still, the in-ring excitement will likely be unparalleled and that, of course, is what really matters come the ring of the bell.
PICK: Kevin Owens via shenanigans pinfall
Well, those are my picks for 2016’s Hell in a Cell. Let me know what you think in the comments below, and share this lovely prose with all your friends. You can now also follow me on my newly-minted Twitter account @WithKungFuGrip. I hope you enjoy Sunday’s show, and I’ll see you on the other side.