Elves movie review – keep this one on the shelf

Elves probably deserves the title of worst film of the year. Picture a bargain basement version of the already terrible Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare and you’ve got Elves.

Truth or Dare was one of the 2018’s biggest cinematic travesties. It was cruel, unnecessarily mean-spirited and stopped making any sense midway through. At least it had a moderately interesting premise and had some relatively decent performances. Elves is awful because it takes a bad movie and manages to crap out an even worse version.

elves movie review - victim

A group of friends get bored and play a game of naughty or nice. They quickly discover their actions have been observed by an elf. Failure to carry out the tasks assigned by the elf will lead to their deaths.

If nothing else, Director Jamaal Burden has a semi-reasonable excuse for the twisted demonic faces on the characters. Thanks to some lousy special effects, it looks terrible, but the effort is there at least.

Burden dutifully sticks to Truth or Dare’s plot to his film’s detriment. There’s even a reference to Truth or Dare as the characters reflect on the similarities of their events. Acknowledging the abysmal inspiration doesn’t make things any better.

elves movie review - survivor

It’s no coincidence that main character is sporting a hairstyle similar to Truth or Dare main star Lucy Hale.

Even more frustratingly the plot changes the rules as the film goes along. Despite the characters pulling off their dares, they still get killed off. I really wanted even the smallest explanation why the elves aren’t killing anyone on screen. Instead it’s a guy(?), creature in a latex mask doing all the heavy lifting.

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Yet even in the face of danger, the characters have no sense of urgency. The cast is at least consistently awful. There’s no standout performances but no actor with dreams of even a modest B-movie career would want this on their resume.

Burden’s screenwriter(s) wisely have the good sense not to have their names added to the credits. There’s an odd subplot featuring another character that’s cheesy beyond its use of Christmas themes during the carnage.

elves movie review - killer

Horror movies don’t necessarily need millions and millions of dollars to look credible. The big investment is really making the death/murder scenes look good. Elves is clearly working on an incredibly small scaled budget and the death scenes are embarrassingly bad. One character seems to get killed by a light brushing of a Christmas tree.

Elves drags out the deaths to an agonizing degree. There’s no suspense and the thrills and kills are awful. Leave this one on you proverbial movie shelf. There’s absolutely no need to waste time on Elves.

Rating: 0 out of 10

Photo Credit: Uncork’d Entertainment

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