The Flash – A New World, Part 4: Finale review S9 E13
If only I had the ability to travel back in time so I could tell myself to stop watching The Flash immediately after Crisis on Infinite Earth. I’d appreciate knowing the show was about to fall off a massive cliff, hit every rock on the way down and explode in a fiery wreck. Nope, the series finale didn’t slow this descent into ridiculousness finding new levels of awful storytelling and the focus on the worst possible character.
Cobalt Blue brings back the only villains this show has ever cared about — the speedsters. We’ve got Zoom, Godspeed, Savatar and Wells Reverse Flash. It seems kinda silly for Eddie to not just bring back Eobard Reverse Flash too. Just to be sure. Well, not as sure as the writers who made sure to double tap this series to make sure it stayed dead after the Finale.
Eddie’s got a nifty suit, but no mask otherwise we wouldn’t know who he was without it. He confronts Barry who’s in the room with Iris solely so she can say “Run, Barry, Run” one final time. That was a great catchphrase the first 50 times. The next 200 kinda lost the impact.
Before I can complain why Flash won’t bring back the lightning lightsaber, Eddie brings his out.
XS saves him — because why should the title character in any way come off competent? — so we can get the big face off of teams. Considering Flash’s squad has cheat code characters Kihone the goddess and Cecile the invincible psy warrior, I’m not liking the odds for the villains who posed a threat for entire seasons.
Flash yells out “Execute Delta Maneuvers.” How the heck does Cecile, XS, Kihone or Chill Baine know this team strategy when Barry hasn’t been around to teach them? Also how is Cecile hanging with any of these speedsters? This would have been an ideal time to bring back the Thinker who could compete with Cecile on her own power skill set level. Cecile beating Godspeed is laughable even more so since none of his clones were the stuffed into the suit versions from a few seasons ago variant.
XS vibrates so Savitar can’t kill her as that’s apparently his only move. And then XS casually kills him. Not sway.
Wells decides to go after the easiest possible hero and plays The Emperor electrocuting Chester. Somehow Allegra’s Delta Manuever was to go to STAR Labs on the off chance someone would try and go after the man in the chair. This season has been a disgrace and its apex is watching all of these mega big bads getting taken down by the low-level Team Flash members.
Chester is fine by the way and he and Allegra have one of their magical spinning circle kisses.
Kihone somehow was able to scramble an alert out to Kramer, Singh and Capt. Korber, who I was pretty sure got sucked away and died last episode? Not that they or Mark are needed since Kihone can use the limitless goddess power she got from one of her plants. I think that’s a better origin than anything the writers came up with to explain anything. Also, why would Zoom call Kihone a goddess? Did he check out the script too?
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Kihone casually absorbs his lightning strike and takes him out. She would have been handy back in Season 2 when Zoom was killing Barry’s dad.
Jay Garrick arrives to bring some desperately needed hero credibility to help Flash fend off Cobalt Blue.
Barry wants to try and save Eddie too despite Jay and Mark not seeing how that’s possible. Of course, Kihone can get him into the Negative Speed Force. How does the childlike Kihone know anything besides her random gibberish? Also, why does this show continue to give this idiot hero the pep talks that would be so much stronger coming from Joe or even Iris???
And the big mega dust up with Eddie ends by Barry offering a pep talk instead of fists, which is enough to convince Eddie to be a hero again.
Time to fill some plot holes. Remember way back when Chester was introduced? Turns out he didn’t lose all those black hole powers, which just absorbed the lightning. Not any other occasion when he’s been quickly knocked out or when he and Cisco got transported to the past, but sure whatever’s convenient for you guys, writing team. Still, Chester has powers!! Oooh let’s explore this next episode!
Joe is here. Why is Nora here to witness her birth?? Where is Bart? Where is Cisco? Where is Sue? Where is Jay? Where’s Wally? Where is…you know what? I give up.
Wells pops up though and he’s here to help Kihone reach her next level. Is she gonna kill off Gotham Knights next?
It’s really hard to work up any emotion for Nora’s birth beyond wondering why adult Nora is here to witness her birth. This has zero emotional impact since we’ve known since forever that Nora was coming. You know what would have been awesome? For the baby to be a boy to completely throw them all off.
I’m gonna give this episode an extra .5 point for Jesse L. Martin singing through the flashback montage. Just because Joe is awesome.
This is such a tearful goodbye for Kihone. I don’t know how this show can continue on with her ascending to further godhood? Ah Caitlin returned now that Kihone doesn’t need her body any longer. That explains why no one cared about Caitlin dying earlier this year. It must have been in Barry’s big book of spoilers for the season. Poor Mark still gets screwed though not in the way he was used to with Frost. Maybe he can go by the Cobalt Blue Balls?
A week later everyone is hanging at Barry and Iris’ spot to officially welcome Nora. Why is Barry spending soooo many scenes with Caitlin instead of his wife?????
Joe makes a toast while I wonder who’s watching his daughter since Cecile is here too. He proposes to Cecile and I really forgot in all of this crap of these last few seasons that they weren’t already married. How about just staying in the same city with her, Joe?
Barry has the runaway dinosaur to read to Nora and decides he needs to share his speed with others. What, like Wally? He sends it off to Avery Ho, Max Mercury and Jess Chambers.
The wild thing is, this gesture seems like it’s intended to pop comic book fans of the DC Rebirth era of Flash and beyond, but those fans who weren’t obsessive idiots who felt compelled to review every episode of this series wisely checked out a long time ago. Also, how could you read the awesome Joshua Williamson run on The Flash and deliver this drivel?
So yeah, this series finale was straight garbage. The only redeeming thing? It’s finally over. So I can Stop Jeffrey Stop reviewing this once great show.
Rating: 1.5 out of 10
Photo Credit: The CW